May 17, 2004
We've eaten at many an East Village Italian in our time, but never have we had cause to guffaw more often than a dinner this past weekend at Upper Avenue A newcomer Evviva
. This is a restaurant that wants to be taken seriously—so very seriously—but hasn't made it even half past amateur hour. The result is an hour-long master class in how not to run a restaurant. Comedic gems abound: wine glasses so large they could hold the entire bottle; seats so small they cannot hold an entire ass; an absurdly overambitious wine list replete with $800 bottles; a tepid gnocci entree smaller by half than most appetizers; and a swirling plasma TV screen that bathes the restaurant in a dim screensaver glow. The coup de grace came during our main course when the waiter arrived with two glasses, turned them upside-down and placed candles on them. "For romance." The payoff came moments later when the too-small table was jostled, sending hot wax flying
across our shirt and down our pants, with a special detour onto our date's skirt. The only way to have more fun at Evviva, we figure, would be to go ahead and order the tasting menu
. Frankly, we dare you.
Its about time that you came out swinging against one of the many piece of shit restaurants below 14th Street. Mazel Tov!
Posted by: Ken at May 17, 2004 03:52 PM
Amen! Also, really sorry to hear that the Evviva hostess didn't recognize your name when you told her the first time -- or the second, or third. More vitriol!
Posted by: jba at May 18, 2004 09:18 AM
I suppose it would be pointless to ask if they offered to pay your dry cleaning bill for the wax job?
Posted by: Amy Langfield at May 18, 2004 02:57 PM
>And, as a special bonus, there also will be at least one new B14 post every day this week as we clear our backlog of things we really should have posted two months ago.
I want my money back.
Posted by: jba at May 19, 2004 09:44 AM
master class,small gnocci, swirling plasma, hot wax, special detour. Hmmmmmmm? sounds kinky
Posted by: jocelyn at May 20, 2004 07:20 PM