Crash Mansion (Yes, Crash Mansion)

December 19, 2003
Walking home up Bowery last weekend, we found our path impeded anew by some spanking fresh velvet ropes. "I saw them setting them up. They looked very purposeful," one pal later confided. A scant two years ago this month, when Pioneer opened on the sub-Houston Bowery, its name didn't strike us as ironic. Now—permission to kill self, sir, cuz it's just getting silly. Earlier this year, Upper East Sidey velvet roper Mission opened across from Pioneer, its name cribbed from a homeless organization a few doors down. (If you've never been, all we need to tell you about this craptacular lounge is that it was named one of Citysearch's best "Singles Scenes.") Now, in that massive apartment building a block south built for ibankers interested in "hitting" the downtown "scene," another posh club/lounge has opened. We wandered in a few nights ago and found ourselves running down the mental checklist: wide booths bathed in beige fabric? Check. Sleek, over-designed bar? Check. Unfinished coat check area? Check. Dazed, we asked an unpleasant looking man rushing about, "What's the name of this place?" He shot us a look like we were the idiots here, before finally deigning to answer. "Crash Mansion." People, you have been warned.

Don't forget about my personal fave 13 Little Devils, whose owner totally called me out.

Posted by: joey at December 20, 2003 12:15 PM

ugh. ugh. ugh.

Posted by: jen bekman at December 21, 2003 04:06 PM

went to the opening night of this puppy - they did host "chick singer night" with a decent sound-system, so a prop for that...but apparently they're opening a park ave-south-type restaurant in the lobby .... let's see how long it lasts.

Posted by: d at December 22, 2003 10:45 AM

I hate to say senior steele... but sometimes, don't you feel just the wee-est bit responsible for what's happened to to the les in the last 2-yrs?

For what it's worth, i've lived aaaaaallllllll the way across town on hudson & watts for the last 3 years and used to blab and blab about how much i loved my hood. but now that there are 3 (exactly 3 times the amount here 12 months ago) richard m style glass towers going up, i've shut my yap. or at least limited it to horror stories of man sized rats and daily muggings.

Posted by: Hammer at January 4, 2004 08:39 PM

Lock is only documenting the mayhem IMO.
Sure he makes it all sound and look sexy but he's really just trying to get his book going and will split to Cali and the hills when his ship comes in. Lock, maybe an occassional Rat story would be ok.? Also why not showcase one of the really bad joints that opens down here and send all the riff raff to that place? Like start with that subterrianian cave joint across from the Johnson's, if it ain't closed already..... Happy Birthday BTW, it's all downhill from here baby!

Posted by: Ratso Rizzo at January 13, 2004 10:40 AM

Don't hate on a place not even finished. I'm sure if you had stepped in and introduced yourself as a neighbor you would have been bought a drink! Kenny from Bitter End is the man in charge of Crash Mansion, a man respected by most in his industry. Finally a new live venue opens for musicians downtown; wouldn't that be a good thing?

Posted by: nyc vampire at January 18, 2004 12:21 PM

Go out & see the Radiators 2/6 & 7 - they will send you wigglin' into the night. THIS is dance music !

Posted by: buckley at January 21, 2004 10:06 PM

Not surprised the Bitter End guy is involved in this place. The lineup is just as weak, but without the decreasingly relevant club backstory ("acts people cared about like Bob Dylan, Joan Baez, Peter, Paul and Mary once played here"). The Lower East Side, sanitized for your protection. Somewhere the Stitiches are screaming in agony.

Posted by: Notteham at February 15, 2004 10:04 PM

Notteham and the rest of the assholes on this site wouldn't last 10 minutes out on the streets of LES. Keep typing your lame critiques from expensive computers your mommies sent you from up in Connecticut. Lockhard Steele; what a joke of a name. Another rich, spoiled kid trying to convince himself he's really a tormented city kid. That "Bitter End Guy" happens to have a) Already had a hit record himself and b) Helped too many to count aspiring artists in this city in the 20+ years he's been in the industry. Step off, posers! (By the way, I have NOTHING to do with the Bitter End, but have played there)

Posted by: Charlie Who at February 27, 2004 01:12 PM